GRIEVING THE LOSS OF YOUR DOG
This may be the hardest experience of your life with the least support from your inner circle. Know that there are resources for you and hotlines/support groups full of compassionate, like-minded people navigating their way through the depths of this loss.
Devoted dog parents need to stick together. Unfortunately, some of us have a lackluster support system either in general or just in the case of our needs related to our animals. Not all people connect with animals as deeply as we do – even if they have or have had dogs or other pets. Society can be cold and cruel. Society can try to diminish our relationships with our fur babies and even diminish their value as sentient beings – heck, they’re only marginally protected by law, but we know better.
You are not alone in your depth of loss and no one should tell you that enough time has passed and that it’s time to get over it. The only way to the other side of grief is through it. But calling on others for support can surely help if you’re reaching out to the right people - people who truly understand the magnitude of this loss for you.
Some ways to find comfort after losing your dog include:
· Support groups for pet loss
· Spending time your with your dog’s friends - human, canine and feline – can make you feel closer to your missing dog.
· Sharing stories and watching old videos of her or him are ways to celebrate that life well-lived.
· Organizing a memorial service with those who loved your pup may give you closure.
· Dedicating an area in your home to them with framed photos, their paw print, an urn of their ashes, and perhaps their collar is a beautiful way to honor them.
· Volunteering for a shelter or rescue, even fostering another animal
· Donating in your dog’s name to an animal charity
· If and when ready, adopting another dog
You will never forget your beloved animal companion, your fur baby, whether you have physical reminders or not. Those memories are yours to cherish forever, and what a gift that is. What a gift for us all to have walked beside them and to have shared a life, love, the many moments of paw to hand and snout to face.
In the past few weeks, two people I know made the tough, brave decision to put their dogs to sleep because of terminal illness, pain and disappearing quality of life. Both are very active in the rescue community. Both adopted dogs from shelters within 24 hours after their dogs passed. This is another way to honor our dogs and, no, it obviously doesn’t mean we’re over the loss nor do we think one being replaces another. There is a wonderful poem that speaks to this from a dog’s voice. One of these women said to me, “People will think I’m over it because I adopted another dog.” I responded, “No, only people disconnected from the human-animal bond. One dog never replaces another. They are two individual beings, one here in the material world, and one out there in the universe now. Both need a dog mom. That’s you. One needs physical space. That’s yours. The other was grateful for that physical home, but no longer needs it. He now only needs your love and for you to work on healing, and to honor him how you know best to do so – through memories, adoption, animal advocacy and more. So, cry as much as you need to for as long as you need to, but also remember that our dogs always want us to be happy. When they cross the rainbow bridge, they are at peace and, I do believe, waiting for us there. If we can find that same peace and remember some of the greatest lessons our dogs teach us – living in the moment and appreciating the simple things in life – we are more equipped to carry on and honor them by doing just that – carrying on with life as animal lovers as THE way to honor them.”
Several years ago, I held my neighbor’s dog as he and his dad looked into each other’s eyes in his final moments. I held him as he drifted to eternity. His dad watched him with love and protection as he drifted to eternity. It was so fast that I couldn’t wrap my head around it for a moment. But as a spiritual person, I then realized it made sense. Of course it was fast and seemed like a quick transition - because it’s right there – eternity, the universe, the energy that left that body, that vessel. So our dogs and other loved ones are actually right there when they head off, when they die. We just can’t see, hear or feel them. Their energy carries on. Energy can’t be extinguished.
For more resources, see below, and reach out for additional information and help. You need not go through grief alone.
http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/coping_with_pet_death.html
http://www.modernreverend.com/services--support.html
https://petdeathdoula.com/about
https://thepetmemorial.org/how-to-deal-with-the-loss-of-a-pet/
https://www.petloss.com/poems/poems.htm
In the U.S.: Call the ASPCA Pet Loss Hotline at 877-474-3310
In the UK: Call the Pet Bereavement Support Service at 0800 096 6606.
In other countries: Visit Chance’s Spot to find support near you.
Poem in Image: My Last Request by Hazel Ketko